Letters to the Next Generation: Number 1

Sometimes the past is better left in the past. Don’t allow yourself to be swept up by feelings of Nostalgia or carried back to a time when you knew no better. Hold firm young ones, steadfast and true. Look back fondly on your memories, but prepare your future in such a way that it’s better than your past, so you can look forward to the good things that are yet to come.

I remember my younger days, I used to be very unhappy, and often felt as though I was alone in the world because I felt so different but I see now that it is my uniqueness that really empowered me. When harnessed properly, what makes you a ‘freak’ or an ‘outcast’ can be your best ally in the future. Never forget that. Love yourself, and anyone else can come after that.

Wishing you peace, the love you deserve, the success you work for and the good company of fine friends.
Love always
Superlative1

Never Let Anyone Steal Your Sunshine

“Your love is nothing I can’t fight. Can’t sleep with the man who dims my shine!”

Lady GaGa said it best in her song “I Like It Rough” from her The Fame album.

That’s the problem with many relationships these days. People have been so conditioned to thinking that being coupled is the most important thing there is to a social existence. Ranked above friendship, a career, even above your own happiness. That last part always had me confused though, think about it- Being with someone is more important than being happy. I must have grown up on too many fairy tales because the two (being coupled and being happy) always used to go hand-in-hand in my books. So when did it happen that happiness was not a side effect of this “relationship” we’re trained to desperately seek?

I figure it happened somewhere between puberty and your first kiss. Hormones start raging and then peer classifications start changing from friends to a multi-dimensional grouping including the people who started having sex way too early to those who felt like they’d never have sex at high school because they were religious, unpopular, fat, tall or whatever reason they felt applied to them. The pressure to be aligned with someone especially in a sexual nature becomes ingrained in the minds of the adolescents and they start to  adjust their outlook on relationships and what they were looking for in a partner for the sake of being accepted by their peers. This stage in life is understandable for many because during those years we are still trying to carve an identity all our own and it’s a teething process. However, some people get stuck in the ‘high school’ stage of relationships right through the course of their life and I often wondered why.

Now my experiences in high school were totally different because I cared little for my classmates, and I didn’t consider them to be my peers in any form shape or fashion. Apart from a uniform, we had very little in common. As isolating as it may sound, I was still relatively popular, however I still used to watch on in amazement at the lengths people went to get accepted by a group of people I felt were none too ‘awesome’ to begin with. For example, there was this young girl who was in a physically abusive relationship with one of the older ‘cool’ kids who I just thought was a walking colonic bag but apparently he had a way (and a fist) with the ladies. I say that is utter garbage personally but it is nothing new and far too typical these days. Again, youthful ignorance could be tagged as being responsible.

As an adult I find emotional dependence is the primary cause of people ending up with partners that really are shit. More so than the story about being financially dependent on a person, it’s love. Often times people are ashamed to admit they’re in love with the person who ‘dims their shine’ so they make up other excuses which they’re less ashamed of, and even wish were true. I’ve always been of the stance- I rather be happy alone than miserable together- not to say I jump ship at the first sign of trouble, but I do make sure I am well taken care of emotionally and I don’t need another person in my life (apart from my friends who I love dearly) to make me feel ‘happy’ and trust me, it took a few years to get to a point in my life where I can say I’m happy. Sure, shit happens on a daily basis but that’s life, knowing I have good friends who have my back and more importantly, being able to stand on my own two as the Hip Hop and R&B artists put it, has given me this sense of calm and level-headedness which comes in quite handy when the world is falling down around you and anarchy is in the streets.

If my readers are to take anything away from what I wrote, let it be this:
1. You’re worth more to you than you are to anyone else, value yourself appropriately.
2. Love who you’re with, but never be blinded by the feeling to the point you’re no longer self-sufficient
3. Spend time developing solid friendships. Lovers will come and go, but your friends will be there to have your back.
4. Learn to be happy alone or you’ll never know how to be happy with someone
5. Never mistreat those close to you. The same way you wouldn’t want someone mistreating you and
6. What goes around DOES come around, maybe not today, but when that other shoe drops you better pray you’re not under it.

Now go on, live, love, and glow!

9.75 Things That Annoy Me

1) People who think they’re a lot smarter than they really are.
Give me a good old ‘idiot’ who knows his/her limitations than a downright jackass who thinks he/she was robbed out of the nobel lauriet.

2) People with messenger viruses who don’t realize simply changing their passwords would solve the problem!

3) People who cannot read a URL and determine when a link is safe or not.
The reason this annoys me is simple: I wanted to send a contact a link to a youtube video, to which I heard “I don’t click links” and I was like… “Is there some weird youtube virus I’m unaware of?”

4) Customer service representatives with no training!
Few things in life inspire me to rage as a CSR who needs a good back hand. Imagine going for coffee to see some… girl… on the company phone talking her personal business, I go up to her and look her full in her face, she look s at me, looks off and continues with her conversation moving out of sight. Suffice it to say I went around to face her again and racist remarks ensued, but that’s neither here nor there.

4.75) Fake people.
You know what I mean, be they persons who went to high school with you, someone from the office or just random strangers, those persons who try to be all sweet and sugary but leave that nasty artificial sweetener taste in your mouth. Saccharin.

5.75) Taxi Drivers
The reason they annoy me is that they tend to do THE most foolishness on the roads, cause several accidents but often evade being actually IN an accident. I just hate to see those taxi cones coming, I just know to get to the nearest sidewalk, wall or lamp post to protect myself.

6.75) People who feel the need to question EVERYTHING
Here’s a kicker, if I wanted your input, more than likely, it was in jest. Why then were I to say “I’m going to the gas station.” lead to a 20 minute debate on the finer points of gas stations vs. supermarkets, and gas stations vs. minimarts and corner stores? Or better yet, if you get invited to attend some event or the other and you decline as is your prerogative some nosy person is going to ask “Why not?” Grrrr… because I don’t want to. THERE! I SAID IT! HAPPY NOW?!

7.75) Twitter in general.
Up to this very moment I just go through the motions of updating my status or whatever they choose to call it but I have no real understanding of the point of it. It’s like taking having no life to new heights.

8.75) Recent articles in the Nation Newspaper
Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to imply that I am the most gifted writer there ever was to grace to pages of the internet, however I must say that the caliber and content of the articles of late are so childish, baseless and full of nothing but sensationalism which is NOT journalism at its finest. Thumbs down.

9.75) The security firm which patrols my neighborhood.
I would like to take this opportunity to request that the owners of J.E. Security monitor the speed with which their drivers accelerate around St. James/ St. Thomas. Hearing them braking and screeching at the intersection makes me fear for the safety of the residents as it relates to being struck down, more than of being robbed!

Rihanna and Chris Brown Reconciled

I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this one. So I woke up and on Facebook one of my contacts had up something about Rihanna in his status message.  So I followed the link to TMZ and was flabbergasted to read it.

Rihanna and Chris Brown — Back Together!

Posted Feb 28th 2009 1:00AM by TMZ Staff

What is she thinking?!

The story just broke on People.com and TMZ has confirmed, the couple has reconciled and they are “together.” According to the report, the two are hanging at one of Diddy’s homes.

The L.A. County D.A. is expected to get the case from cops soon and then decide whether to charge Brown for the alleged beating earlier this month.

Battered Wife Syndrome. She is far too young and supposed to be surrounded by too many positive influences to be going down this road. It saddens me that she left Barbados, became a megastar, got her ass beaten alongside the road like some common whore and then goes back with the guy that burst her head. I hold my tongue no more. I have lost nearly all respect for both parties in this situation. Love isn’t abuse, beating, fighting or assault.

Nuff Said.

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Is Your Man Gay

I found this to be utter trype and folly when I read it, but I felt like sharing it for a good laugh.
For added effect, I shall drop comments in bold to give it my own personal touch.

Is my man gay?
Published on: 2/7/09.

by GINA AIMEY-MOSS

BEING INVOLVED with a man living on the down low must be a woman’s greatest fear; or certainly something she wouldn’t believe could happen.

Unfortunately in Barbados, as elsewhere, it is not uncommon for men who are in a public relationship with a woman to be having discreet sexual relations with other men.

Although there is a growing tolerance for homosexuality, it is still not widely socially acceptable in Barbados. So, many men and women hide their sexual preference to maintain the status quo. Having a girlfriend is one way a gay man may try to keep a “straight image”. I’ve always said society begats its own ills so that point I must give her credit for, while noting the blatant omission of the term ‘bi-sexual’ in this entire article.

Sadly, this can have dire consequences if he fulfils his gay desires outside the relationship; for instance, his female partner may be unknowingly exposed to sexually transmitted diseases if her cheating boyfriend doesn’t use adequate protection. Because as we all know, only if a man cheats with another man is the woman in fear of contracting something. Which is part of the problem. Monogamy people! If you’re going to sleep around on your own accord so be it, but if you’re in a relationship with someone COME ON! Why be with that person if clearly you want to be somewhere else with someone else?

So, how can you tell if your man’s gay? This should be rich…

According to a young homosexual interviewed by the SATURDAY SUN, there are quite a few tell-tale signs, including those that would be considered clichés. These are:

* He cries at movies. Oh come on!

* He glances at men when they pass, especially the attractive ones. I’m on the fence about that one because it doesn’t mean he wants to bed the fellow.

* He has no qualms expressing, or even gushing, about how attractive another man is. Heterosexual women do it in regards to other women, why can’t heterosexual men? I think it’s just clouding the issue.

* He prefers anal over vaginal sex with you. Now this one affected me in a manner… if your man likes to stick it up your butt, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s GAY although…  I’ll leave it there for now.

* He has an intense interest in fashion and dresses very fashionably; is well groomed and is a little too knowledgeable about different brand names.That is ludicrous. What does looking like you have a job, disposible income and a mirror have to do with being gay? Just grabbing at straws now, clearly.

* He consistently compliments women about their clothes, hair and shoes, as opposed to their face and body. I suppose it would be more appropriate for him to say “Girl, you bubbies look real good!” Which does happen but that’s just disrespectful and not indicative of a heterosexual preference. Actually, having little regard for women can often be a factor in assessing someone’s homosexuality, depending on your school of thought.

* He makes a lot of flamboyant gestures with his hands when he talks. At this point I’d like to point out that some people are just naturally expressive with their hands and such a judgment is highly subjective because what may be flamboyant to you may be subtle to someone else.

* He brags about how many gays think he is attractive. *Headache* That… whoo… I don’t even know what to say there.

* He likes to watch or is turned on by gay porn. Unless we’re talking about some hot girl-on-girl action, the fact that your man is watching and turned on by gay porn and you are aware of this, re-evaluate the state of both your mental healths.

* He has a lot of homosexual friends. This is moot and irrelevant.

* When you ask him if he’s gay, he responds evasively as opposed to denying it. Meanwhile a denial is by no means indicative of him being straight so this too is moot.

These guidelines probably do apply to many men on the down low – especially the last three – but clinical psychologist Dr Marcus Lashley was quick to shoot down all of them.

“There is no absolute way to determine someone’s sexuality,” he said in a telephone interview.

He insisted there was no set criteria or prototype for the gay man and one could only judge on an individual basis.

According to Lashley, a man might display these traits because of his upbringing and cultural background, but not because of his sexuality.

For instance, the well-groomed, fashionable man might be “metrosexual” – American slang referring to a heterosexual who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance.

Even the man who goes on about how sexy another man is may be expressing what he subconsciously wants for himself; in other words, he’s probably wishing he had six-pack abs like his object of admiration.

Seeing that there may be no real criteria that applies to all men on the down-low, your instincts may be your best “gaydar”.

So what do you do if you think your man is gay?

Make sure you’re listening to your intuition and not your paranoid fears. You need to ask yourself if you really think he’s gay or if you are subconsciously sabotaging your relationship.

Take a moment to meditate on this before you make any drastic decisions.

* ginaaimeymoss@nationnews.com

Superlative1′s 10 Rules of Engagement.

Rules of Engagement.

Rule #1: Always exercise diplomacy even when irate. Example, “Please fuck off.”

Rule #2: When facing an opponent of lesser intellect, don’t try to compete on their level, they’ll always win.

Rule #3: Always be direct in what you’re seeking. Example “Ou est les ho’s?”

Rule #4: When in a situation where “Please fuck off.” is not allowed, adopt less direct tactics. Example: social isolation.

Rule #5: Know your boundaries and let those around you be aware (beware) of them also.

Rule #6: Learn your opponent’s weakness(es) and use them to your advantage.

Rule #7: Know your own weakness(es) and master the art of concealing them from your adversary

Rule #8: Conflict Resolution should always be your first option; the how is totally up to you.

Rule #9: Admit your shortcomings in the face of opposition. Only you can judge you.

Rule #10: I… Always… Win.

Everybody Knows

EVERYBODY KNOWS …
You can’t be all things to all people.
You can’t do all things at once.
You can’t do all things equally well.
You can’t do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

SO …
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of “being you.”

THEN …
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due,
And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

DARE TO BELIEVE …
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. After all today is the
tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

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Totally Gratuitous

For those of you who remember the post Wedding of the Year *Updated* this little tidbit might prove interesting.

Word has it that the former best friend turned arch nemesis of the Crimson Queen who also got married under somewhat spurious conditions was seen in Harbour Lights on Friday night with her new beau. That’s right, she has a new boy-toy.

Seems the rock solid foundation upon which the marriage was based has mysteriously crumbled like the Arch Cot disaster of last year. I suspect it too was unwittingly built upon a hollow cave’s roof. Our best… good… Our wishes go out with the once giddy couple during this obviously tough time.

Nothing like boys and booze to heal the wounds, isn’t that right Soon-to-be ex Mrs?

Cult of Cherry!

Here are some pics I took at the launch of the Mac Cosmetics Cult of Cherry campaign for fall 2008 at Cave Shepherd, Broad Street, Barbados.

It was actually a phenomenal presentation, even if you’re not totally into makeup, you’d appreciate how good Mac products really are, and the lesson in how to apply makeup.

Paris Hilton for President!

After John McCain’s used Paris Hilton in a smear campaign ad against Barack Obama, Paris Hilton queen of fame whoring and we all secretly love her for it, has taken the opportunity to throw her hat into the ring. Even going so far as to name her vice President, Rihanna!

Click Here to watch the ad.

Rihanna – Circuit City

So in an attempt to make sure Rihanna never wants for anything in life, it seems every company is pitching in to make sure she gets all the work and ad spots. Latest is her video disturbia being used for Circuit City’s massive Back-to-School campaign. Check it out below.

The Difference Between Being African American and Being Black

I am so shame… Despite many people calling me racist, I continue to point out the subtle difference between being African American and being Black.

Whereas black people such as Chris Williams sing songs like “Love Is Gone” for David Guetta’s smash dance album Pop Life meanwhile African Americans sing what is featured below and think that it passes for an uplifting and endearing ballad.

What would possess anyone to write that song, sing it, produce it and decide THIS is the best I could do with my song writing and rapping ability! It is vile, grotesque and at the very least inappropriate. I am waiting for the remix featuring Trina.

*Shakes head from side to side disapprovingly*