Ultraviolence – Lana Del Rey Gets It Right

June 19, 2014

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I’ve always been a fan of Lana Del Rey, from the first time I happened across her song Video Games while listening to the UK top 100 (don’t ask). I needed to know who this vintage siren was who understood my nostalgia towards life gone by while remaining fully present, in the present.

When I got Born To Die and I listened to it from start to finish I said “This is the most amazing sh*t I have listened to in ages!” Then came Paradise, or Born to Die – Paradise Edition. Again, amazing tracks. I was full and in love with the poetry, vocal stylings, controversy and audacity of an actual songwriter cooing about her life, love, her dreams and of course her flavored vagina! I wasn’t expecting her to release anything for a while and I resigned myself to that. Then West Coast came out all of a sudden and I bought it as soon as I saw it on iTunes.

West Coast touched me in a way none of her other tracks did before. The dual styled song within a song speaks to the sentiment of what the West Coast (California) represents to Americans but for me, it spoke to the West Coast of my little island and how I feel whenever I’m there – hopeful, ambitious, gifted, revered and almost worshipped. Life DOES get better, on the West Coast.

Ultraviolence as a title tickled me. I first saw it on her Instagram while trolling through my feed, I said “yaaaaaassssss bitch! Give it to me!” Upon regaining my composure I said I must get the album when it came out.

Hearing Ultraviolence was like hearing my unwritten journal entries being sung out loud by a voice that wasn’t mine. Here were my innermost thoughts and secrets being aired and reverberating through my bed from my subwoofer. I can relate to the album a little too much, more than even my closest friends will realize.

The toxic relationships, the unwavering love in the face of apathy, emotional retardation, indifference and general melancholy reminded me of my dedicated love, like St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, that still lives on to this day. A love that haunts, overwhelms and envelops.
F*cked My Way Up to the Top has replaced Cola in my mind’s default Tourette’s like song outburst. The gall of her! She is definitely controversial but it doesn’t feel deliberate. It’s simply honest and unapologetic (Hey Rihanna) and she makes real music about real life and real experiences. Some literal, some metaphorical, some lived and some witnessed.

The me of today feels about Lana Del Rey’s music like how the me of the 90s felt about Alanis Morissette. Having grown darker and more honest with myself and my pathology, Lana Del Rey is my new drug of choice.

And to the one person who won’t read this – Old Money is the song I dedicate to you, even if you change your mind I’ll come, come come.


Ender’s Game – A Review of Sorts

February 11, 2014

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I’ll make this brief:

Pure shit.

That is all.


Exercise Time! Or So I Tell Myself

January 24, 2014

Yup. Time to start back exercising. My body fat percentage is probably at 90 right now. That’s right folks – I’m being held together by lipids.

That having been said, I consider myself a sexy bag of lipids, but still – something must be done. Please bare in mind that I’m not making this decision for anyone other than me. My self-esteem is pretty solid, I might even venture to say high, so it’s not because I am crying myself to sleep while I have one hand In a large bag of Doritos while the other is flicking through Men’s Health and wishing I looked like the guy on the cover (and every ad – at least in the “after” photo as I currently resemble many “before” shots.)

I’m doing this simply because I recognize that I have been lazy. “Thick” is all well and fine but it ain’t thick if it jiggles lol. I could stand to tighten and tone especially since I adore food and cooking. Plus I’m not getting any younger and I rather put in the work now than have to put in way more work and down 100 pills for my10 physical problems like diabetes, hypertension, erectile dysfunction etc.

Now – where are my sneakers… The running ones not the leather ones that have never seen anything quicker then a rush for an evening sale.

Wish me luck! Tell me about your plans and routines, maybe I’ll adopt some of them in my quest to Adonis status!


Sin – the Cake: A Triumph!

January 23, 2014

Since I’m writing about it again it must mean the cake was a success!

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The cross between a rich chocolate cake and a velvety smooth cheesecake turned out better than I had planned, but as good as I had hoped. The reason for my skepticism lay not in a lack of faith in my baking abilities, no no, it stemmed from me never having perfected either a chocolate cake before and not even having attempted a cheesecake before!

That’s why in my earlier post I spoke to this ambitious endeavor without going into detail. I decided to throw caution and recipes to the wind and say “you know what, I know what good cake tastes like, let me make this batter to suit.” And that’s what I did.

I also decided that it made no sense skimping on the ingredients and wind up with what would have been marvelous cake had I only used better quality ingredients.

Cadbury Cocoa, Kerrygold butter, Wisconsin cream cheese (yes, there is other cream cheese in the world besides Philadelphia cream cheese), fresh eggs, full cream milk – all went into the cake. As for the frosting, I donned a French accent and used French butter and two types of frosting sugar to create a triumphant cream cheese frosting that melts in your mouth.

I baked a small one for a friend as a late birthday/dangerous anniversary gift (inside joke) and I cut the rest of it into big slices to share. The thing’s going fast though… I may only end up getting one slice for myself!

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January’s Cake: Sin – the Cake

January 22, 2014

This year I promised (myself at first, then the world) that I will be doing one cake a month.

The reason for this stems from last year’s late in the game decision to perfect my cake baking skills. Clearly I lack a life. Meanwhile I was baking cakes so frequently and with no set structure – time, occasion etc., it became way too costly and time consuming. Enter the cake of the month.

Some months will have cakes that pay homage to some event that takes place in that month while others will be cakes I just like/feel for that month. January’s cake though – this one is an idea that I must see come to light.

Sin – the Cake. This may be one of the most expensive cakes I will ever make but if you’re going to sin you might as well go all out. The name “Sin – the Cake” (not just sin) is due to the share decadence of the cake. A fusion of cake ideas in one cake. There will be a cheesecake like component, a rich chocolate component and of course a white chocolate component.

I must admit it is an ambitious enterprise especially to start off the year but why wait until December after I’ve allegedly mastered the art of cakes? Pfft! To hell with caution. I’m going to make Sin – the Cake and it will either be a triumph or a complete waste of my money.

If you hear nothing more about this, suffice it to say it was a failure.

Talk to you later!


Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit – Meh

January 21, 2014

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Look – this is going to be brief.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is a fine example of when bad people happen to good movies.

This movie had potential that was never fulfilled. It went from “OMG this is gonna be sooooo good” to “ah? Da fuq am I watching” in a hot minute!

Quick breakdown of why I would give this movie a C.

Dialogue was lacking.

Character development was rushed leaving it difficult to feel for any of the characters.

The plot ran away from them and tried to be too big to be edited too short, to the point it seemed like a rushed ending.

The decisions made by these expert agents came across as silly and amateur not cool, as we want our super agents to come across.

Finally the movement – whether it was from the US to Russia or intercontinental, the ability to go from place to place in supersonic speed was illogical and a MAJOR plot hole.

I honestly was disappointed by this movie… But the popcorn was good.


The Peppermint Tea Goblin

January 19, 2014

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Living with others post your early 20s is always a challenge, regardless of who it is. I live with my parents – the worst example of people you can live with as a young adult. During this time you’re coming into your own; your own tastes, levels of comfort, preference of clothing optional in the kitchen etc. however you have to now temper that based on those around you and their own levels of comfort etc.

Fine.

However what really pisses me off is when you have a communal space where items are stored. Before I continue let me say this – I am not a selfish person. I love sharing with people who appreciate the things I do and it gives us something to chat and/or complain about in unison. BUT when people are clearly using your things without asking and more importantly TELLING you they’re using them, that right there folks is when tensions mount.

Those who know me are aware of my routines and my little obsessions. Peppermint tea and peach iced tea being two of them. I always keep a box of Heath & Heather peppermint tea in my cupboard to start the day, end the day, or to have a cup at some point during the day. It calms me and I love the taste. The other day though I started noticing a discrepancy in my peppermint reserve. I said to myself that someone else must be partaking of the delicious “peppermintness” I so adore.

I lacked solid evidence of this so I said maybe I miscounted the number of bags remaining.

Then came the bait and switch. Someone put OTHER types of peppermint tea in my box! The very gall! I depleted my authentic Heath & Heather reserve and moved on to another box. That went swiftly also and again I suspected foul play but lacked evidence. Until I was down to the last tea bag and arose the next day to find it and the box gone entirely! Proof! Which at the time didn’t appease me since I was out of my calming peppermint tea. I purchased another box (I really should buy it in bulk) and carried on with my monitoring – but I needed answers.

I decided to confront my mother aka the most likely suspect and while waving the box “asked” if she had been drinking this peppermint tea. She turned, scanned the label on the box and declared she doesn’t use that brand “specifically” then asked if I wanted it. I was taken aback! I exclaimed “it’s MINE!” To which she acted as though she had no clue as to how this magical box of peppermint tea kept appearing in the cupboard despite her not buying it.

I am now suspicious of my father but he always denies touching anything so that will be a lost cause. Clearly there is a peppermint tea goblin breaking into my home and violating my holdings for his perverse pleasures.

This isn’t the end, I can assure you of that!


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