Mother Sues Beyoncé After Daughter Dies Giving Head on Surfboard

January 17, 2014

I do not even care if this is a hoax or not. I just cackled uncontrollably and decided to share.

You’re welcome!

20140117-175341.jpg

I’m actually a huge fan of the song Drunk In Love featuring Jay Z so this really gave me the giggles but if she DID die doing that well I only have one word…

Amateur.


Stuck With Each Other!

March 4, 2009

Today’s the day people. Shontelle’s new single Stuck With Each Other featuring Akon premiers today and the video is available on Universal Motown’s website, you can also access it via her website, or…. you can simply Click Here!

I actually like the video. It features scenes from the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic and is a really glossy music video, yet, it doesn’t come across as a shameless marketing ploy filled with advertising. Beyoncé and her people could learn a thing or two about subtlety- a la Upgrade U, the Audemars Piguet  ad.


On Beyonce

February 24, 2009

Well more so on her overexposure. People have been suggesting that being too out there may actually hamper your success. Now, that having been said, Beyoncé Knowles, the QUEEN of overexposure decided that having Bidet and Bidet Unflushed wasn’t enough saturation, she decided to just release a two-disc album I Am… Insane. Don’t get me wrong, I love I Am… Sasha Fierce. I think it’s her best album to date.
However, when she releases two singles within a week of each other, I have to draw the line and say hold up, slow down girlfriend!
She wants to be THE entertainer. I am sure she goes home, looks at billboard and spits every time she sees Rihanna at number one, and that’s a lot of spitting to do, but I digress. So when I Am… In Need of a Sanitarium was released, she had out If I Were A Boy and Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) which I have parodied on my myspace :).
At any rate, both did exceptionally well on the Billboard Hot 100 and of course her album debuted at number one. However, the steam is now letting up and she has out two MORE singles, Halo (one of my favourite songs on the album)
beyonce_halo
and Diva (a female version of A Milli by Lil’ Wayne).

beyonce_diva

Both great songs, but… too much of a good thing is still TOO MUCH! After going through the Hot 100 and seeing that both songs had peaked, Diva at number 20 and Halo at 44 and were on their way down, I snickered and said HA! That never happened to her arch nemesis RiRi. She must have wiped her ASS with that when she saw her singles slipping further below Rihanna’s singles from last year :D
Long story short, B, take my advice. Before you release the last 8 singles you have planned before summer, hold off until at least the middle of April before bringing out a new single. Promote Diva in high end areas and Halo in the sweet heart states.


Single Fellas (Shouldn’t Put A Ring On It)

January 24, 2009

This is the parody to Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

Parody available for listening http://www.myspace.com/officiallyro

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

Now put your hands up!

Up in the club

You just hooked up

With some pretty young thing,

At the crack of a whip

The bitch starts to strip

Now on her head starting to spin

She’s on the ground,

Dancin’ round

Don’t pay her any attention

Cuz once you get burned

From then you start to learn

The type of girl you never marry

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Oh oh no!

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Too much gloss on her lips

Looking like a trick

Out for her next fix

Skinning out

The club owner shouts

What the hell’s up with this?

She may need no permission

But I must mention

She’s ruining my reputation

Cuz that kinda stuff

Really ain’t good enough

And I’m about to shoot this scene

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Oh oh no!

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t treat her to finer things of the world

She’s not that kind of girl.
What’s more she is a whore

What she deserves,
Is a man that takes her,

And breaks her
then leaves her

Where he found her

Taking the bitch no further

Don’t fall into her arms,

Victim one hundred one

If you go

You won’t know
What happened from that moment on

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

All the single fellas

Now put your hands up!

Oh oh no!

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

Don’t get mad cuz now she claiming it

If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t put a ring on it

(She aint worth nothing, nah she’s less than nothing, should you put a ring on that bitch?)

Oh oh no!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 28 other followers