DLP Progress Report: 1st Quarter

April 18, 2008

So the first quarter of their tyranny governance is complete and it’s time for a progress report!

Achievements to date include and are limited to:

  • Bad mouthing the ousted Barbados Labour Party (counter productive)
  • Maintained the said BLP initiatives (hypocritical)
  • Gave a less than underprivileged celebrity land, an SUV,  and a title (overzealous)
  • Picked Snails (…enough said)
  • Increased the cost of living by removing subsidies on fuel including that used for electricity then coming on television declaring Barbadians should live more ‘conservatively.’

HA! I hope we’re proud of ourselves. Change, from bad to worse. Congratulations Barbados!

Vacancy
Wanted immediately to serve as shop keeper in kerosene oil lamp and candle store. Must have proven track record of sales, excellent written and verbal communication skills, a dislike for the usage of electronic devices and above average arithmetic capabilities.

Hours of work depend on available lighting.
Natural air/conditioned environment (Open windows and doors.)

A competitive remuneration package awaits the successful applicant, unless the wage increase as proposed by the Barbados Workers’ Union is approved.


DLP Launches Snail Picking Initiative

March 21, 2008

It appears as though the slightly used new government of Barbados has declared war on the Giant African Snail plaguing our island.

achatina-fulica-david-robinsoncornershot.jpg

In so doing they have launched what I call the Snail Picking Initiative which involves members of the general public assembling at 3 in the morning at Rock Hall, St. Thomas to pick snails . Given the fact that this said government has not rectified the public transport issues which have been brought to the table, I wonder how people are supposed to get there. At any rate, I guess that’s the difference between socialists and capitalists. Socialists would assemble a posse, rally troops, get uniforms to show their sovereignty and spend 2-8 hours picking snails one by one. Capitalists would make a call, work out a fee, and pay professional exterminators to deal with the problem.

At any rate, Click Here for a Giant African Snail Recipe I think may come in handy after the windfall I expect them to get. You know what they say, waste not, want not.


After the Dust has Settled

January 29, 2008

Late in coming, as all my posts have been of recent but I had to do this after the heads stopped spinning and the first set of dust has settled.

So the DLP won the elections 20-10 (maybe 19-11 if Rommel Marshall wins his court case… which we doubt he will so let’s stick with 20-10) and the BLP Head is now Mia “Nibbles” Mottley after Owen “See-more women” Arthur former Prime Minister handed the reins over to her contrary to public expectation that Clyde “Whoops!” Mascoll was named as Co-Leader. David “Giddy as a School-Girl” Thompson and his CAREFULLY selected group now have control of the government, all excluding the Wrong Dishonorable Dennis “Narcissus” Kellman was snubbed, to no one’s surprise. What a way to begin a political year. Ah… I hope to God, Allah, Jehova, what have you, I get my company off the ground before the BDS dollar gets devalued to something slightly above a buck fifty Guyanese.

Oh and to answer everyone out there asking, “Whose side is he on?” I say to you this “The same side you should be on, my own.”


DLP’s Plan of Action Part 1- Capital Account Liberalization

January 18, 2008

What are the definitions of ‘Money Laundering’,  and ‘Tax Haven’ because they seem to come to mind given section b) and c) of the Account Liberalization initiative the ruling Democratic Labour Party has in its manifesto.

b) Residents and Non-Residents will be able to hold bank accounts in US Dollars, Euros, Canadian dollars and Sterling in unrestricted amounts provided these are not funded from Barbados dollar sources. The holding of different currencies will eventually help to diversity the financial services industry.

c) A 5% rate of income tax will be applied to interest earned on these balance in order to encourage their repatriation from foreign banks where they remain undeclared. These deposits will be subject to existing foreign currency reserve requirements.

We have in place a declaration policy governing local transactions which state all deposits of and exceeding $10,000 BARBADOS dollars the source of which must be declared. However this is saying undeclared money in non Barbados dollars will be subjected to a 5% income tax on the INTEREST not the money.

So if i were a drug lord and wanted to hide 30million Sterling for example i could send it down here and only be taxed on the interest the money earns. Don’t forget the term in b) “in unrestricted amounts”.

At any rate, I MAY be wrong but we’ll see when the World Bank and the IMF get wind of this.


Vacancies

January 16, 2008

Ah, the breeze of change is still a-blowing it seems. Word crossing my desk is that over FIFTY persons from the Queen Elizabeth Hospital have resigned today January 16th, a day after election results showed the Democratic Labour Party (DLP) made a crushing and slightly embarrassing defeat over the Barbados Labour Party (BLP- who had 3 consecutive wins over the DLP).

Also of note is apparently, the Barbados Investment Development Corporation (BIDC) has been vacant since last week. Though I am still researching these two matters I think it’s pretty safe to say it’s true.

Given the fact that the QEH as well as the BIDC are both corporations, at the changing of Government, members of these bodies have to resign. Which is unfortunate for the QEH people in particular given the fact that it has been roughly a year since it was transfered to corporation style governance. That would of course only affect Administrative not Medical Staff. Not that these people shall walk away with their long arms swinging, no no no! Rest assured they have some change to tide them over for a while.

Ah well… when wind blows dust is stirred, all that’s important will come when the dust eventually settles.

Updating résumé.


The Courting of the Electorate

January 13, 2008

This morning as I lay half asleep I heard a loud thud on my living room floor. When i eventually woke up, i saw a stack of envelopes on the ground. I figured that they must have come from the postal workers seeing as they’re working weekends now to hand out propaganda information from both the DLP and the BLP. I have never felt so… harassed in my life! Everyday I receive mail as though from a suitor none of which contain money or jewelry, hell even FLOWERS! I can’t wait for elections to be over so I can finally stop receiving all of this SPAM!

2 more days.


And in Politics…

January 6, 2008

So the DLP has released their Manifesto. I am too tired to read it right now but I shall let you all have a look for yourselves.

2008_dlp_manifesto.pdf

I hear it has in good sports promises… comfort to a fool is what they say but we’ll see now won’t we.


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