Ender’s Game – A Review of Sorts

February 11, 2014

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I’ll make this brief:

Pure shit.

That is all.


Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit – Meh

January 21, 2014

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Look – this is going to be brief.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is a fine example of when bad people happen to good movies.

This movie had potential that was never fulfilled. It went from “OMG this is gonna be sooooo good” to “ah? Da fuq am I watching” in a hot minute!

Quick breakdown of why I would give this movie a C.

Dialogue was lacking.

Character development was rushed leaving it difficult to feel for any of the characters.

The plot ran away from them and tried to be too big to be edited too short, to the point it seemed like a rushed ending.

The decisions made by these expert agents came across as silly and amateur not cool, as we want our super agents to come across.

Finally the movement – whether it was from the US to Russia or intercontinental, the ability to go from place to place in supersonic speed was illogical and a MAJOR plot hole.

I honestly was disappointed by this movie… But the popcorn was good.


The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – Why You Should Watch It

January 18, 2014

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I knew absolutely nothing about The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Nothing. Other than that really interesting video of how the marketing budget was used to help feed the needy people of wherever touched by some tragedy. At that point all I knew was the marketing budget was pretty small.

At any rate I hadn’t seen a trailer or anything and had no expectations of the film. However I must say – it’s cute! Ben Stiller delivers in his unique way of charm and complete lack of sexiness that’s engaging and completely not intimidating. Other people star in it as well but who really cares about the other people. If you’re an imaginative person you could relate to the lead character (protagonist for you fancy bitches who studied literature) and his flights of fantasy. Some witty, some action packed but all very interesting.

The actual story is interesting but not the fastest moving of plots but it’s straightforward enough so just relax and enjoy the movie.

I’m less than an hour in and I am writing this recommendation so if it sucks by an hour and a half don’t get angry with me! It’s your own fault for minding the recommendation of a complete stranger!

My final word is a bit of an interesting tidbit – I own a ring similar to the one in the movie. You’ll know what I mean when you watch.


90210 Is Garbage!

April 8, 2009

So I was updating Twitter while watching 90210 the New Beverly Hills or whatever, and it really hit me halfway through the show- It is utter and complete garbage!

Who really cares about the shrinking violets they call female cast members. The lead girl, what’s her face, is nothing cute. She looks like a weird prepubescent girl in an inappropriate sexual relationship with an older high school guy. However, apart from that really not significant fact, the show has no substance. So in last night’s episode, Brass or Copper or Silver had everyone paranoid that she was ready to jump off the ledge because Token Black didn’t react to the solo porn she filmed for him… (What the hell do highschool kids get up to these days?!)

And then there’s the knocked up college girl? I don’t know, she looks older than everyone else so I figure she works at the school in the cafeteria or something. Wait.. no, she was the druggie thief actress girl. Now, on a point of information, I believe the producers should simply add more cast members instead of trying to incorporate every childhood/teenage issue into 4 people, because in reality, they’d be dead.

Let’s run through the cast:

The Benjamin Button girl that is dating her former friend’s former boyfriend who she had a crush on many a moon ago at some swamp hangout whatchamacallit.

The Spoilt Bitch who is super obnoxious yet strangely normal and not usually involved in the dramz that everyone else seems to get involved in.

The Token Black kid who I think the producers had NO creativity in incorporating a black kid into this lily white inner circle. Yeah… adopted by the now principal, former student of West Beverly High. Funny enough, he is the same age as their natural born daughter. (BB Girl)

The Druggie Thief Actress Soon-to-be Mother who is planning on giving her child up for adoption which I think would be a great idea, seeing as how she is a druggie thief actress high school mother!

Semi-precious Metal who used to be the outsider dating the token black kid, little sister to the guidance counsellor/former student of West Beverly High.

The Jock in Question who apparently just broke up sorta with BBgirl and was dating spoilt bitch before. He really adds nothing to the show but he has muscles so he stays.

I refuse to discuss the adults any further than I did because they just pay the bills as far as the younger cast are concerned. Bleh.

I wonder what will happen next week.


Why Il Forno (Barbados) Wants Burning Down

July 17, 2008

I am sure those of you out there who are from Barbados or have visited the South Coast and dined up and down the stretch are familiar with an establishment called ‘the View.’ Famous for… um… Rihanna went partying there one night, that’s it! Anyway, because everything else about the establishment failed to be noteworthy The View closed down and the restaurant was rennovated by some Italian businessmen. Enter Il Forno- genuine Italian restaurant and pizzaria.

For a couple months I had been toying with the idea of venturing to Il Forno and see what it is they have to offer to the hungry patrons of the South Coast and I finally made it there this week.

Reasons for the burning:

  1. While waiting to be seated no one took notice of us for a few minutes to the point where we were not sure if we should just walk in and sit down or walk out.
  2. The person who seated us looked like that guy in The Machinist and I swore the temperature of the room dropped when he walked by.
  3. The waitress who served us was as pleasant as cold sore.
  4. When asked anything she gave half-hearted responses and was not very knowledgeable to begin with. (e.g. “That bottle there, is that extra virgin?” “No it’s olive oil.” not to mention “What does this dish come with?” “Pasta” “Yes, fine, but what type of pasta?” “Spaghetti” No, it was not spaghetti.
  5. The food was average at best and the wait time seemed too long for a simple meal of pasta and tomato sauce (no meat) and a calzone.
  6. The calzone was over-stuffed with ricotta cheese and made a mess when I cut into it.
  7. Who I suspect to be the owners or at the very least the managers of the establishment could not run the credit card machine because they did not have the code. The person who had the code was across the street at the bank making change for Il Forno and we saw him coming back after they told us to go along and settle our bill later.
  8. That person was then sent home for a week

The meal came to $48. The guy lost a week’s wage. Something about that doesn’t quite seem fair. Is it his fault that noone else has the codes? At any rate the situation could have been handled differently and it was the perfect ending to an unimpressive lunch.


Cashmere Mafia vs. Lipstick Jungle

March 18, 2008

I watched both with an open mind and am here to render my verdict.

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Left: Lipstick Lesbians Jungle, worst show on tv. Right: Cashmere Mafia the WAY better original.

I began watching Cashmere Mafia first, as it began airing first and was instantly drawn to its charm, wit and humanity. Sure it’s about people far above the average income level but their lives aren’t charmed by any stretch of the imagination. It has this degree of plausibility to it and the situations they get themselves into seem to have a reason behind them. Very well written, directed, produced and acted. Excellent and complementing ensemble cast. When I watched Lipstick Jungle I thought, this is a cheap glossless Cashmere Mafia rip off! The show SUCKS! The writing is poor, the acting is forced at best and the direction is aimless. I HATED it. When I heard that reviewers (who I refuse to even give validation by referencing them) said Lipstick is better then Cashmere I thought to myself they HAD to be getting paid to spout that drivel. Worse is that Lipstick seems obviously patterned off of Cashmere but a poor facsimile that to suggest it’s better shows a lack of true critical thinking.

Oh and the Cashmere Mafia cast is hotter!


Review of Blackout by Britney Spears: 2007/11/10

November 10, 2007

Well for those of you who are now joining in on the action, I recently became a wordpress blogger, moving my original blog here and I’ve got to tell you, I’m lovin’ it!

Also, I have been checking out Britney Spears comeback album Blackout, one of the most anticipated (in good ways and bad) albums, possibly within the past decade. It’s a pretty solid album, surprisingly so given her tumultuous year and the goings on in her life. To be perfectly honest I was expecting something a little more… watery. Over processed bubblegum pop without lyrical depth and over the top production. Happily I can report my expectations were disappointed.
The debut single Gimme More happens to be one of the least exciting tracks on the album and although it did relatively well on the charts and it IS a nice song to dance to, don’t underestimate the album as a result of it.
Piece of Me set to be the next single from the album speaks to her media blitz and attention and while unlike certain other artists who whine and moan about when they mess up, she simply points out her life and puts some perspective on the whole situation.
While Radar will win no Grammy for Song of the Year, it is a strong club/pop song sure to get you dancing and the beat is crazy enough to be infectious.
One of my personal favourites Break The Ice brings Britney back to her place as Pop Princess utilizing her undeniably unique voice for which this type of music actually works. It has in all the sound effects of vintage Britney while assuring its fresh sound with instruments not usually heard in pop.
Heaven on Earth has this old club feel from back in the day when it was all about the music. It just feels like a song to dance along to or just bop your head from side to side joyously as you sit in your car or seat in the library, wherever you may find yourself.
The most shocking title coming out of the album was Get Naked (I Got A Plan) and I raised an eyebrow when I saw it and thought it was going to be a porn song done to a ballad a la Touch Of My Hand however, it’s another mid-up tempo song to dance to, or… whatever else to:).
Freakshow is daring in the manner in which it was produced and the way her voice is filtered in the first verse, it works though, and at least it’s out there in one of my favourite lines “Me and my girls like to get it on, grab us a couple boys to go” which is sexy yet not obscene.
Toy Soldier is one of those fillers that really don’t give the album weight, however as far as fillers go, it could have been a LOT worse. I hear some singles which are worse than Britney’s fillers.
My LEAST favourite song on the album is Hot As Ice which as one of my friends describes sounds like it was done by Britney Spears featuring the Oompa Loompas However, it grows on you like a fungus. I just think her voice grated across my inner ear a bit in that song.
Ooh Ooh Baby is yet another filler which adds nothing to the album but track numbers, however it still sounds cool, not single material, so of course I expect to see a music video for it soon. It seems songs which really shouldn’t be singles are chosen all the time.
*Breaks into song* “You’re the perfect lover I’m in love with all the things you do so seductive when you touch me I can’t get enough of you.” I should really find that song Perfect Lover dull but somehow it penetrated my core and filled my brain with its lyrics lol.
Finally, the song which I think was a brilliant decision to have as the final song is Why Should I Be Sad which speaks to her relationship (obviously with Kevin Federline) and actually givers her side of the story. Why I like the fact this song comes at the end is because my view on albums is that the last song SHOULD sound like the end of the album, it doesn’t have to say “Thank you for buying my cd, I really hope you enjoyed me” but it should feel as though the chapter is closing. Why Should I Be Sad does that for me, and it really made the album sound complete. Great production thanks to the likes of Danja Hands, Pharrell Williams and Jonathan Rotem, this album will certainly be a PushPlay album. All in all, I give Blackout a surprising 4.5 Stars out of 5.


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