Recommendation for Republican VP Candidate

I present to you my recommendation to the Republicans as a replacement vice presidential candidate for Sarah Palin. Yes, a bag of marbles.

Twice as bright and three times as useful.

Paris Hilton for President!

After John McCain’s used Paris Hilton in a smear campaign ad against Barack Obama, Paris Hilton queen of fame whoring and we all secretly love her for it, has taken the opportunity to throw her hat into the ring. Even going so far as to name her vice President, Rihanna!

Click Here to watch the ad.

Supermarket Time!!! *Repost*

WOO! So the wonderful Government of Barbados is yet again coddling its citizens. What a double edged sword. They’re working at reducing the cost of certain goods on the shelves of the supermarkets across the island. Funny enough I was having a two day discussion about the price increases and I felt I needed to share this with my well informed reading public.

The problem is, people fail to realise that the Government NOR the big bad food chains are responsible for increasing food prices per se. Another overlooked consideration is that with the Americanisation of the world as we know it since the advent of a million channels on the idiot box, everyone MUST have what they see, be it Olay Daily Facials® or Tostino’s Pizza Rolls.
The complication comes when you have to import these things as you all know there is no Oil of Olay factory in Barbados. We have a LARGE import bill because we are a tiny country and we don’t produce half of the things we need/want. How do people think they get here? Taking it away from the more luxurious items and bringing it down to grass roots level, let’s look at Sardines- a popular choice would be the brand Brunswick. Show of hands, how many of you out there have gone to the beach and felt the sweet caress of a sardine against your leg? For good reason, we don’t HAVE sardines in our waters. What then must we do to have our homes reek bright and early in the morning? Import!

Now, how does one get a tin of sardines from Canada to Barbados…? OH! I know, the wholesaler can make a paper plane and hurl it in the direction of Barbados. Now true I never made it to CXC with Physics but something tells me that won’t quite work for a variety of reasons. The fact is, we have to ship things to Barbados but Barbadians don’t seem to realise this. At any rate, I shall end it here and leave you with this to chew on.

Ef yuh wan to stan up in de people supamarket and spin roun looking at a hundred different boxes of Corn Flakes, yuh gun gotta pay for de luxury of superfluous choice.

Educate yourselves. Peace.

DLP Progress Report: 1st Quarter

So the first quarter of their tyranny governance is complete and it’s time for a progress report!

Achievements to date include and are limited to:

• Bad mouthing the ousted Barbados Labour Party (counter productive)
• Maintained the said BLP initiatives (hypocritical)
• Gave a less than underprivileged celebrity land, an SUV,  and a title (overzealous)
• Picked Snails (…enough said)
• Increased the cost of living by removing subsidies on fuel including that used for electricity then coming on television declaring Barbadians should live more ‘conservatively.’

HA! I hope we’re proud of ourselves. Change, from bad to worse. Congratulations Barbados!

Vacancy
Wanted immediately to serve as shop keeper in kerosene oil lamp and candle store. Must have proven track record of sales, excellent written and verbal communication skills, a dislike for the usage of electronic devices and above average arithmetic capabilities.

Hours of work depend on available lighting.
Natural air/conditioned environment (Open windows and doors.)

A competitive remuneration package awaits the successful applicant, unless the wage increase as proposed by the Barbados Workers’ Union is approved.

DLP Launches Snail Picking Initiative

It appears as though the slightly used new government of Barbados has declared war on the Giant African Snail plaguing our island.

In so doing they have launched what I call the Snail Picking Initiative which involves members of the general public assembling at 3 in the morning at Rock Hall, St. Thomas to pick snails . Given the fact that this said government has not rectified the public transport issues which have been brought to the table, I wonder how people are supposed to get there. At any rate, I guess that’s the difference between socialists and capitalists. Socialists would assemble a posse, rally troops, get uniforms to show their sovereignty and spend 2-8 hours picking snails one by one. Capitalists would make a call, work out a fee, and pay professional exterminators to deal with the problem.

At any rate, Click Here for a Giant African Snail Recipe I think may come in handy after the windfall I expect them to get. You know what they say, waste not, want not.

After the Dust has Settled

Late in coming, as all my posts have been of recent but I had to do this after the heads stopped spinning and the first set of dust has settled.

So the DLP won the elections 20-10 (maybe 19-11 if Rommel Marshall wins his court case… which we doubt he will so let’s stick with 20-10) and the BLP Head is now Mia “Nibbles” Mottley after Owen “See-more women” Arthur former Prime Minister handed the reins over to her contrary to public expectation that Clyde “Whoops!” Mascoll was named as Co-Leader. David “Giddy as a School-Girl” Thompson and his CAREFULLY selected group now have control of the government, all excluding the Wrong Dishonorable Dennis “Narcissus” Kellman was snubbed, to no one’s surprise. What a way to begin a political year. Ah… I hope to God, Allah, Jehova, what have you, I get my company off the ground before the BDS dollar gets devalued to something slightly above a buck fifty Guyanese.

Oh and to answer everyone out there asking, “Whose side is he on?” I say to you this “The same side you should be on, my own.”

Vacancies

Ah, the breeze of change is still a-blowing it seems. Word crossing my desk is that over FIFTY persons from the Queen Elizabeth Hospital have resigned today January 16th, a day after election results showed the Democratic Labour Party (DLP) made a crushing and slightly embarrassing defeat over the Barbados Labour Party (BLP- who had 3 consecutive wins over the DLP).

Also of note is apparently, the Barbados Investment Development Corporation (BIDC) has been vacant since last week. Though I am still researching these two matters I think it’s pretty safe to say it’s true.

Given the fact that the QEH as well as the BIDC are both corporations, at the changing of Government, members of these bodies have to resign. Which is unfortunate for the QEH people in particular given the fact that it has been roughly a year since it was transfered to corporation style governance. That would of course only affect Administrative not Medical Staff. Not that these people shall walk away with their long arms swinging, no no no! Rest assured they have some change to tide them over for a while.

Ah well… when wind blows dust is stirred, all that’s important will come when the dust eventually settles.

Updating résumé.

Election Day- Barbados

The big day is here and after 2 and a half hours sleep, yours truly is ready to get my democracy on. Despite initial ambivalence I have made the decision to vote for fear of sitting idly by and watching my country be ruled by whom I may not be in support of.

I intend to be there by 5:45am (no I am not opening the place nor am I working there.) I just have things to do and places to go and can’t afford to be caught in the “Let me get there at 6 bo” crowd. That means freezing cold water, struggling to find clothes and most likely skipping breakfast. YAY! Mind you I have an 8am class I rue going to this morning so I won’t be able to go home and catch up on my five and half hours remaining sleep. *Sigh* Oh well all in the name of democracy right?

Tomorrow’s a day off anyway. 40 hour work week my eye.

Vote Barbados!

Priorities

As the date for the polls draws ever closer here in Bimshire (Barbados for those not in the know), the air is alight with political discussions, accusations and warnings from all sides- namely the right side, the wrong side, my side, your side, their side, our side, up side and of course the down side.

Whereas I have been accused, rather labeled as being a Capitalist, I more so view myself as a Realist.

The BLP has a history of what many would deem as Capitalist goals and development strategies, fine. The DLP likes to tote themselves as being a Socialist party, all for advancing the society. My issue is this- One of my more financially secure friends said that if he were in Barbados on election day, he would vote for the BLP because they make the rich richer and he went on to ask if I honestly thought that if the DLP were to win that they would evenly distribute wealth… valid point. How DO they intend to evenly distribute wealth? The BLP has been in power for 3 consecutive terms and it has been said that they create an environment for wealth to be generated by individuals, groups, what have you.

On the other hand, the DLP’s plan of actions seems to be holding hands for the greater good- but will it just result in holding hands to bring each other down? Socialism only works when individuals have a vested interest in the larger group, and we know how selfish Bajans can be so what’s going to happen?

The Courting of the Electorate

This morning as I lay half asleep I heard a loud thud on my living room floor. When i eventually woke up, i saw a stack of envelopes on the ground. I figured that they must have come from the postal workers seeing as they’re working weekends now to hand out propaganda information from both the DLP and the BLP. I have never felt so… harassed in my life! Everyday I receive mail as though from a suitor none of which contain money or jewelry, hell even FLOWERS! I can’t wait for elections to be over so I can finally stop receiving all of this SPAM!

2 more days.

Polling Stations

For those of you who are wondering, “Wait, where I’s to vote though?” The Government of Barbados has provided a online site which locates your polling station by your National Registration Number (ID Number as it is more commonly referred to.)

Click here to use the service to find out where you’re supposed to be voting come January 15th.

The Face of a Leader

Let’s take a look at the two men gunning for Prime Minister in the January 15th, 2008 General Elections.

The face of Owen Arthur.

The face of David Thompson.

Now… who looks serious? Who REALLY looks like someone who’s set to lead a country through this tumultuous time. You decide.

New Political Party

Announcing the formation of the newest political party to hit Barbados the RLP- the only party to tell the truth about their campaign promises.

Vote Honesty! Vote Audacity! Vote RLP!

Peter Wickham Banned from the Nation Newspaper

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
This is rich! I couldn’t stop cackling! LMAO!

So, get this, I really don’t keep abreast with the news and views of Barbados hence you must pardon me for my lateness.

Check this out!

Check this out!

Check this out!

The Master’s wielding, orphanage running pseudo academic finally got banned from putting fodder in the people’s newspaper! LMAO! I had to comment on the blog! I’m somewhere near if not at the bottom.

People are speculating that it has to do with governmental influence but the man is a loon and really spouts drivel, when he’s sober enough to spout more than just body fluids (the man spit in my eye when he was talking to me, I was scared). The man’s contract to lecture at the University of the West Indies wasn’t renewed, he was stopped from hosting a political show on the local channel CBC TV8 and now this, tsk tsk tsk. At least he can continue to fudge polls! But his number one client was the said Nation so… I guess maybe not. HA HA!

Anywho… what goes around comes around and I am STILL skinning my teeth.